apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
