I got chris browned last night
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
