Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
