I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
