sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
