If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
