I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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