doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
