If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Damn victory sex feels great
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