I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
