Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
