reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
