i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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