dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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