I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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