I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
