I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
