You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The uberlube is also flammable
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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