i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
