Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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