i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
