He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
