pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
