Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
