Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
