I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
