Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
