My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
