I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Panties = found
Randomize
