belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
