i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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