I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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