if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
