Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
