Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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