He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
