I cockslap morals
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The adults are the big ones right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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