i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
