I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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