it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
