The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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