i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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