wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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