She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
