I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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