I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
