just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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