Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
