Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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