Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
