Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Please, let me fuck your mom
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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