I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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